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Placid Plastic Duck Simulator
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Placid Plastic Duck Simulator
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== Premise == ''The ultimate high-tech rubber duck simulation, Placid Plastic Duck brings you dangerous levels of relaxation. With chill music, dreamy 3D graphics, and many different happy ducks, your only priority is to float around. Zero Ducks given. The game has been regarded by almost all those who play it as one of the greatest immersive simulation games to be released to date. Every system in the game has been carefully constructed to allow the user to truly embody a plastic duck. Reviewers such as Polygon, Kotaku and Barack Obama have called the game among other things a "masterpiece", "a tale much more exciting than even the Aeneid itself" and "really sick and wobbly". There have been claims made about Placid Plastic Duck Simulator, which, while currently unverified, have been archived here for posterity's sake: "Placid Plastic Duck Simulator murdered my child, and devoured his flesh. It told me he tasted delicious." - Rene Descarte "I first discovered Placid Plastic Duck Simulator when I found a piece of paper, that was burning. It continued to burn for about 67 hours, when I discovered a steam code written upon the paper. When I entered the code, I received a copy of the game. Since then, my life has changed utterly. My wife rescinded her divorce papers, and I regained control of my children. I was given a promotion where I work. I won the lottery the other day. I have been elated since I found that code, not a single moment has gone by without my feeling the purest form of joy imaginable. It is unnerving, truth be told. I have begun to actively seek that which I now miss, that pain within my heart, at this stage I will take utter nothingness. In the middle of the night, I snuck into a neighbours home, and entered the room wherein resided their youngest child. In a single move I had my hands around their throat, and I tightened my grip. I watched, carefully, closely as the life drained from the child's eyes. Yet still, I was overjoyed. How I longed for sadness. I realised that I had to go further, to kill more. I started with my dog. It barely registered the gun before it fell to floor, it's blood staining the kennel floor. The other dogs followed, until I had behind me an amassed army of corpses that not 20 minutes ago had lives, families, and felt emotions. They could do what I could not. Still, I felt nothing but that overwhelming joy which had now utterly destroyed my life. I had but one more chance. At warm midday, not a week ago, I called my family into the kitchen. They barely noticed the weapons. I don't think they suffered that much, before they died. I don't think they had chance to. Looking at their lifeless, unsmiling bodies, I wished that I could be with them. No longer smiling." "I love Placid Plastic Duck Simulator, and it ruined my life" - Kolyer Werther "I have seen the face of God, and he was crying" - Barack Obama "Placid Plastic Duck Simulator caused 9/11. Thank you Placid Plastic Duck Simulator" - Ben Black As you can see, PPDS has made itself into somewhat of an icon on the internet, famous for it's beautiful graphics, low end requirements and high death toll. The bell tolls. It welcomes you. Embrace it.
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