Editing Slurpy Derpy (section)

=== Gods ===
All alone for centuries, the Derps started to conjure Gods to fill their dull existence... and the Gods answered, blessing them with new abilities and purposes in life.
;Vita
:''The first God to be created as a way for those very early Derps to feel loved and wanted. She sees no flaws and loves all Derps equally. Everyone loves Vita. She gave us our first stat, Vitality. Finally, something to live for!

;Fortua
:''Turns out, Vitality alone makes for truly stupid Derps. Fortua, who thinks that no Derp is ever smart enough, tries to add in a little smarts to the mix and granted the Derps Intelligence!

;Tunda
:''Tunda's sole goal is to take that mushy Derp exterior and turn them into fighting machines. He gave the Derps Strength something worth fighting for.

;Loko
:''The Derps were loved, amped up on a war, tempered back down with intelligence and then finally we just needed a little crazy. That's right: To maintain an edge, an unpredictability, the Derps created Loko. He gave the Derps their final stat, Agility.

;Bob
:''Eventually the happy lives of the Derps started to show flaws, another emotion personified came into being: anger! Bob populates his armies with the Derps you sacrifice, ready for their vengeance!